13 March 2026

Rachael Taylor once said, “We live in a world of instant gratification, the world of the quick fix”. There is no doubt that our world has been bombarded by gadgets, ideas and technology that enable us to find solutions faster, solve problems in a shorter period of time, and satisfy our desires in as short a period as possible. Answers are quickly available at our fingertips, and complex and intricate challenges are often overcome in an instant through the use of some form of AI. There is no doubt that a great deal of benefit is gained from such technology, and that many life-changing advances in different fields have been achieved. However, there is also a downside, and one that is having a dramatic effect on our young people.

When many of us were young, conducting research for a project or assignment involved walking to the local library, finding the topic in an encyclopedia (we all remember the “World Books), photostatting the relevant pages, and then having to work out what to include, cutting out pictures, etc. In today’s world, this seems archaic, and research has become faster and easier to access. Many will argue that time is now saved, research is effective and more fine-tuned, and that the quality of the final product has improved. And in many cases, this may be true. However, critical skills are being compromised in the process and our children are losing out. Skills such as resilience are being eroded. Researching in the library was often cumbersome, frustrating (when one could not find the correct information, or had to wait because someone else was using the book that you wanted), and took time, but you had to hang in there, and not quit, because the project had to be done. And that built resilience, commitment and tenacity.

Don’t get me wrong, I am well aware of the enormous advantages of search engines such as Google, and how they have benefited our lives. The library example is a simple one, however, it illustrates a point and begs a question: are we promoting and encouraging the development of resilience in our young people? Are we encouraging them to do hard things? Are we allowing them to quit, or put in minimal effort when the going gets a little tough, or are we using such opportunities to build resilience? When our kids don’t have to dig deep and struggle through a complex maths problem (because AI will give us the answer in a minute), or when we are happy to accept mediocre academic results because studying in advance is too much effort, or just too hard, then we are depriving our children of valuable opportunities to develop resilience.

Developing resilience is a critical life skill that our children need in order to become independent and balanced young people; without it, they simply will not survive in a competitive and busy world.

Resilience goes way beyond the primary school classroom, and seeps into every corner of ones life:

• A lack of resilience severely hampers a teenagers ability to bounce back in the higher grades when the academic demands are high, and university (and residence) places are on the line.
• There will be a time at some stage in a young person’s life when they do not make the team they tried out for, or are not selected for the part in a play they so desperately wanted. In other words, setbacks are inevitable. Resilience enables one to deal with such setbacks in a manner that promotes growth, perspective and maturity. A lack of resilience unfortunately turns these setbacks into major obstacles that are difficult to overcome.
• When relationships go through difficult and challenging times (as is natural), a lack of resilience does not bode well for the future of the relationship.
• Resilience is critical in the work place, and if our young people are not provided with an opportunity to develop it, success and sustainability in their future employment role is placed in jeopardy.
• Our goal (as parents and educators) should be to develop young people who are kind, well-balanced, selfless, and who want to make a meaningful difference in their corner of the world. Set-backs will be inevitable along the way, and failure is part of life’s growing experience. However, when resilience is absent, then our children lose out on golden moments to develop their character when those tough times arrive, with the result that their character development suffers in the long run.

Please take the time to dig deeper by considering the following resources:

• https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/raising-resilient-kids/
• https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers

Our role as parents is to model the behavior that we expect from our children, and to guide them in handling real-life challenges in the correct manner. Allowing them to face age-appropriate struggles, and teaching them the skills to work through those struggles is our responsibility. Reneging on this responsibility denies our young people of the opportunity to develop the resilience so desperately needed to become happy and successful people, who will thrive in the world around them.

25 June 2025

As we look back on a busy and successful term, it is important to once again step back and appreciate all that we have been blessed to experience. With all that is going on in the world right now, and the enormous hardships faced by so many people, it is so important to realise that we have so much to be grateful for. The world unfortunately often causes us to look at the glass as “half empty”, however, with a bit of honest introspection, effort, and objectivity, we quickly realise that in many cases our glass is indeed “half full”.

So let us be intentionally grateful for all that we have experienced, and all that we have in our lives. As a school, we have watched in wonder as our dream of a Performing Arts Centre has come into reality. From a distant and, at times, farfetched dream back in 2019, to standing in awe in front of the centre, this project is another reminder of how blessed we as a school are. The immense and significant contributions of so many generous and kind people have enabled this incredibly exciting new addition to the Clarries campus to stand as a testament to all that we have to be grateful for.

Let us not stop at being grateful for our beautiful new Performing Arts Centre. Let us dig deeper, and make gratitude part of who we (and our children) are. At the end of a 12-week term, let us be grateful for:

• The fact that every child has had in front of them a teacher who is devoted to, and passionate about, their growth in character and integrity, and their development as a well-rounded and responsible young person. A perfect teacher – no. For none of us are perfect. A real teacher who constantly goes the extra mile and makes extraordinary sacrifices for his or her pupils – absolutely.
• The fact that we are able to send our children to a well-functioning school, where there are so many opportunities for their potential to flourish. Not far from us live many children who do not have such a privileged opportunity. Further afield, many children (the same age as ours) wonder if they will have one meal a day, or a makeshift tent to sleep in at night, let alone daring to dream that one day they may get to attend school for a day.
• The fact that the vast majority of us are able to send lunch to school for our child. We are quick to moan about the “mission” to make school lunches, and I am often guilty of this. How I humbly hang my head in shame when I turn on the TV and realise how many children never have the luxury of 3 meals a day, let alone lunch at school.
• The fact that our children go to a school in an environment where people matter, where kindness and respect trump all academic, sporting and cultural successes, and where there is a strong desire from staff and parents to raise young South Africans who will make a true difference out in the world.
• The fact that we have so many wonderful parents involved in so many aspects of school life. By involvement I mean everything from making a Love Sandwich, offering a lift to an outing, braaing or serving at a derby day, being the smile behind the Tuckshop counter, covering a book, praying for our school, or answering a desperate parent in need on a class WhatsApp group. All of these kind acts Make A Difference, and none is more important than the other. Many schools do not have this kind of phenomenal parent involvement, and we are immensely grateful for it.
• The fact that our kids are resilient and do not give up. This past mid-year examination period was incredibly tough for so many of our pupils who were hit by this year’s flu virus. So many of them had to squeeze missed examinations into an already tight schedule, and a number put in great academic effort, despite their weak health. They had to show immense courage and determination to get over the finish line. And they did. Let us appreciate this effort.
• The fact that we get to step back, reflect, and unconditionally acknowledge all that we have in our lives. There is always something to be grateful for – no matter how big or small it may be. However, gratitude unfortunately does not always come naturally and we have to make a conscious effort to choose to be grateful. And we need to teach our children the same. Sometimes we need to change our perspective, and look at our personal situations a little differently. As Alphonse Karr said, “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or we rejoice because thorns have roses.”

Norman Vincent Peale once said, “The more you practise the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for”. As we look back on the term, I encourage each one of us to intentionally practice such an art, for the benefits thereof are immeasurable. 

25 March 2025

As we draw to the close of what has been a high-paced, yet most successful term, it is always good to pause and consider all that has been, and what is to come. It is often very tempting to “crawl” to the end of a term, exhausted from all that life has thrown at us, and not take advantage of the opportunity to reflect. Reflection is critical if we are to grow as people, and even more so, if we are to continue to guide and mentor our children. The world that we live in moves at a rapid pace, with instantaneous answers and information at our fingertips on a daily basis. It is a world aimed at multitasking at speed, and dealing with many pressures from all angles. Reflection involves removing oneself from such a space in order to create an opportunity for meaningful deliberation and thought. Unfortunately, life makes this difficult, but not impossible. If we prioritise growth and what is best for ourselves, our children and our families, then we will make time to engage in worthwhile and honest reflection.

As a school, we encourage every parent to include the following three critical issues in your time of reflection with your children:

1. To what degree have we allowed screens to become part and parcel of our child’s daily life. We are most concerned of the reports that we receive on a daily basis of how many of our pupils (many in the younger grades) are gaining access to various social media platforms (ie. TikTok, Instagram and YouTube) on their personal devices, or the device of a parent. Many parents are unaware of this exposure to social media, or are oblivious to the inherent dangers of their child being exposed to such online content. In addition, online gaming is presenting opportunities for young pupils to meet complete
strangers over the internet – another concerning and frightening threat.

Limiting screen time in your child’s life often results in friction in the home, however, the  consequences of unlimited screen time or access to social media sites are far more harmful than the possible temporary upheaval caused by a parent enforcing healthy digital boundaries.

Let us not for one second doubt the fact that unhealthy exposure to social media platforms, and excessive screen time, are two of the biggest threats facing our children’s emotional, social and intellectual development. Sadly, many parents do no not seem to have the energy, determination or interest to stand in the gap for their children and fight these threats. This failure is resulting in catastrophic consequences for our young people. As a Clarries Family, let us be parents who are not scared to parent, and who are not scared to enforce healthy boundaries. The futures of our children are dependent on our actions.

Please take time these holidays to reflect honestly and meaningfully on where your child is at in terms of screen time, and exposure to online content. As psychologist, Dr Jocelyn Brewer reminds us: we need to be mindful, moderate, and meaningful in the way we use our screens.

Dr Justin Coulson (a leading Australian parenting expert) recently included the following tips on where to start in terms of the enormous threat posed by social media and screen time on our children:

• Monitor your kids’ online activities
• Talk to them regularly (and listen twice as much)
• Minimise screen time and foster face to face relationships
• Spend more time together as a family
• Make sure that your child gets enough sleep (and does not lie under the covers, concealing the light from their cell phone screen)
• Know where your kids are
• Ensure they have access to great adults who care about them
• Tell them the three most important words they can hear: Not I love you… but the next three: no matter what. They need to know they’re worthy of your love. Always.

A few interesting and informative reads in this regard can be found at:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/tween-and-teen-health/in-depth/teens-and-social-media-use/art-20474437

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/dangers-of-social-media-for-youth

https://jocelynbrewer.com/the-three-ms-of-digital-nutrition/

https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/digital-kids

2. We encourage each one of us to reflect on kindness these holidays. Are we actively teaching our children to be kind? Are we regularly talking about being a person of empathy and understanding with our children? What are we doing to ensure that our child is being someone who builds others up, and does not make comments or acts in a way that breaks their peers down?

There is a sad and worrying trend in the world right now (due, amongst other factors, to the influence of social media and a few current world leaders) that pushes the idea that life should always revolve around oneself: “I am the most important person and that it’s all about me”.

This mode of thinking could not be further removed from what we stand for at Clarendon Park. Our children are being bombarded from so many angles by messages that support narrow-minded, selfish and self-absorbed behavior. What are we as parents doing to fight against this? Are our social media habits supporting this bombardment, or standing up against it? When we use our own social media platforms as a continuous “brag book”, and use our children’s actions and achievements (big, and sometimes very small) to gain as much online attention as possible, let us never underestimate the knock-on effect in terms of our children’s priorities and personality development.

Bragging about oneself, trying to step on others to get ahead, reminding others of what we have achieved, are qualities that should be guarded against at all costs. Reflecting on our efforts in this regard is crucial for our children’s healthy growth and development.

Unfortunately, children who are not actively taught and mentored to be kind, considerate and selfless, end up causing a great deal of hurt in the lives of others. We should never be too busy or not interested in having these conversations with our children.

3. Take time these holidays to reflect on your child’s academic performance. Please remember that reflection and criticism are complete opposites. Allow your child to openly share their thoughts on how their schoolwork has gone during the past term, and whether they feel that they are working to their full potential. Allow them to be open and honest about their academic frustrations and concerns. Don’t judge. Just listen. And if things have not gone well this term, guide them as they put a plan in place to remedy the concerns. But be the parent – be reasonable and realistic in your expectations – but don’t be afraid to stand against mediocrity and apathy (which is sadly becoming somewhat of a cult-like attitude in our society). Healthy academic performance is not possible without healthy boundaries, and it is us as parents who need to enforce those boundaries.

Our kids live busy, active lives, and they need guidance as to how to find balance, how to plan, how to use their time wisely, and how to work smart. They also need a little prodding (and sometimes more than a gentle nudge) to hit the ground running when it comes to their studies, and not wait for the end of a term to apply themselves.

These are three areas which we feel would benefit from a great deal of reflection, family discussion, and open and honest conversation. And even better if this happened around the dinner table, with no screens in sight (including our own). Studies consistently show that regular family meals are linked to improved academic performance, better mental health, reduced risky behaviours, and stronger family relationships, as well as healthier eating habits. An interesting article in this regard can be found at: https://www.parents.com/recipes/tips/unexpected-benefits-of-eating-together-as-a-family-according-to-science/

May these holidays be a meaningful and productive time for positive and healthy reflection, which can only benefit your child in every possible way.

29 January 2024

Last week I was sitting in our Junior Quad before the start of school, chatting to a few of our new Grade 1 pupils. It is always incredibly refreshing chatting to these young 6 year olds, who are right at the start of their school career, and who see the world very differently to us oldies. Their honest optimism, and expressed joy for the simple things of life can teach us so much. I asked a few Grade 1’s what the highlight of their year had been thus far. Expecting some wonderful feedback about their first few days of school, or their new school uniform, or something about the start of their schooling career, I received the following responses:

• Two Grade 1 twins told me that their highlight had been receiving their new hamsters – also twins, named “Fuzzball” and “Furball”;
• Another Grade 1 told me that her highlight had been meeting a grey cat over the weekend, named “Ginger” (the contradiction did not seem to bother her);
• My next young friend proudly told me that her highlight had been falling off her bike, and that her knee was grazed and a different colour.

No deep pedagogical or educationally philosophical input, and no life changing revelations about school life. Rather a stark reminder that the simple, often ignored experiences are the most important. That we learn so much, and receive so much joy from that which we tend to often rush past in the busyness of life. That sometimes we as adults, focus on our perceived priorities in terms of what we believe a young person should be focusing on, and should be pursuing. However, what is often needed is a reminder that the simple things are equally, if not more important, than the complex ones. I suppose it boils down to what our priorities are, because often we prioritise that which we think is so important, however, it is the basics, the so called “smaller details” that really make a difference at the end of the day.

And so, as we start a new year, maybe it’s worth our while to pause, and take a moment to reflect on our basics, to check out our priorities, and to ensure that our children, ourselves, and our families, are spending enough time on the vitally important, yet often ignored “smaller details”. Our time is hogged by that which we deem to be a priority, and if we are brutally honest, our priorities are more than often dominated by that which the world tells us is important. Sadly, the world often deems the basics, the simple things to be irrelevant and not worthy of our attention.

Possibly, we all need to check our priority lists, and ensure that some of the following basics are in place:

• Are we eating supper together as a family at least 3 to 4 times a week. No technology, no interruptions. Just healthy conversation and time together (regardless of what’s on the menu). For some, this may be a daunting prospect, but the consequences of ignoring this family activity are far more daunting. If you are not convinced, chat to a family where all the children have finished high school, and left home. Time together as a family is a privilege, not a chore.
• Children need time to play. To spend time being a person of their age. Free from technology and free from stress. Just playing in an age appropriate manner. It is our responsibility as the adults in their lives to create such opportunities. If we allow their schedules to become so busy that time to play is not an option, then we have let them down.
• Are we being proactive in terms of monitoring the use of technology by our children? If not, then we must brace ourselves for the inevitable destructive consequences. Age appropriate use of technology could be one of the most important and critical aspects of the growth and development of the modern child. Putting effective boundaries in place with regards to technology (as exhausting as this may sometimes be) may be one of the kindest things that you ever do for your child.
• Children need spiritual input in their lives. As parents, we need to determine the nature of such input, however, to neglect the spiritual growth of a child is to neglect the child.
• Another simple basic, is doing something together as a family at least twice a month. Whether it be going to the beach, walking the dogs, going for a walk, having an ice cream together, or playing a board game as a family – this time together is invaluable. Pre-teens and teenagers may protest at this idea. Don’t give in. Stand your ground. They will thank you later.
• Prioritise kindness in our homes. Our children model their behavior on us. They imitate us. Their language development, and character growth need to be molded by those at home (and not those on social media). We all need to take a moment to take stock of the words, the attitudes, the thoughts we express around our children, and ensure that they are constructive, and not destructive.
• Be honest with ourselves about our own digital habits, and the example that we are setting for the young people in our lives. Living our lives through our phones, and desperately seeking validation on our social media pages, will send a message to our children that we may live to regret.

As 2024 roars into life, I really hope that each one of us makes the time to revisit our priority lists, and that we all make an effort to ensure that the simple, yet essential things are given preference, and not forgotten about in the pursuit of all that the world often deems important.

Have a happy, peaceful and wonderful year, full of life’s simple, yet beautiful moments!

19th May 2023

During the 1st Term I was reminded of the true value that sport plays in the life of a child. In our overly competitive world, where results are seen as the holy grail, and take precedence over all else, we need to be regularly reminded of why, we as a school, play the sports we love and cherish. On a sunny afternoon, I sat watching one of our Under 11 cricket teams play a match against a local school. We were batting, and the match was evenly poised, with a great deal of nail-biting taking place along the boundary (by very nervous parents). The fielding team took a wicket, tilting the game in their favour, and in strode our new batsman (no doubt with visions of match winning glory etched on his mind). He took his mark, and before he knew it, the bowler had bowled the yorker of the century, and his middle stump was cartwheeling towards the slips.

Totally dejected, and clearly carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, the batsman began the dreaded long walk off the field, no doubt fearing the reaction of his team-mates. As he reached the half-way mark of his lonely walk, a remarkable thing happened. His team-mates came out to meet him, on masse. They wrapped their arms around him, and escorted him off the field, clearly realizing that he needed all of their support and understanding. No moaning at him, no blame or victimization for how the team suffered because of his wicket. Just pure and unbridled sportsmanship, camaraderie, and having your team-mates back. Looking around, there were a few parents (mostly Dads), who seconds earlier were cursing the batsman under their breath, and who were now aware that they were witnessing a golden reminder of the true essence of sport.

I don’t remember who won the cricket match, and I doubt whether any of the players do either. In fact, it is likely that the parents don’t recall the outcome, or even who the opposition team was. But no-one will forget the life lessons that we all learnt that day, and that we were once again reminded that life lessons trump results.

The 2nd incident took place at an inter-schools C-League Gala – a busy affair, with young people from all walks of life, many different schools, coming together and enjoying a good old-fashioned gala. There were no prizes for podium finishes, and finishing the race, overcoming the starters gun, and the hype and fervor of the crowd, were top of each participants agenda. A particular race caught my attention – 25m of one of the strokes. In the far lane swam a young lady who clearly was giving it her all, and was unbelievably determined to finish the race. She paused now and then, to look up and see how far she still had to go, and pausing around the mid-way mark, it was clear to her that the other swimmers had already finished.

A lady then appeared out of the crowd, and slowly and sensitively walked alongside the lane, quietly encouraging and motivating her. It was the swimmers mom. There was no doubt that every eye in the packed pool area was on the swimmer and her mom. As she reached the end of the pool, the crowd erupted, as if she had just won a gold medal at the Olympics. Once again, no-one remembers who won the race, what the time was, or even what stroke they were swimming. But we will all never forget the image of someone overcoming a huge obstacle in her life, being supported by someone who dearly loves her, and of a crowd recognizing the fact that finishing the race was far more important than the outcome.

And so as we descend into our winter sporting season, where early Saturday mornings, and dew laced fields become the norm, it is my hope and prayer that we will make every effort to remember that sport offers our young people the most incredible opportunities to grow and learn, and that very few other pursuits will offer such valuable lessons. Being part of a team, learning to support each other through thick and thin, and just participating, are such important aspects of healthy development. We should never underestimate how significant it is for our young people to feel included, recognized, and valued – taking part in an extra-mural activity is a fertile field where these critical concepts can be nurtured and grown.

I just hope that we as adults don’t mess up these golden opportunities.

Our job is to support, to guide, to nurture, and to be the reminders of what truly is important. It is not our job to relive our golden sporting days through our children, nor to insist that our children achieve on the sportsfield what we were never able to accomplish. It is our job to be bigger than what the scoreboard says; it is our role to show restraint and tolerance when a call goes against our team; and to always remind our children to stay humble in victory, and gracious in defeat. And it is good to be reminded that our children learn far more from what they see us doing, than what we say to them.

As adults, we need to make a conscientious decision about how we approach our child’s sporting endeavors. We need to decide whether we will join the popular masses, and pay homage to the “winning at all costs “mentality. Or will we be brave enough to help our precious children become better humans through their sporting escapades.

Encourage them to play their heart out, to never give up, and to give it their all – absolutely. But how we support, how we behave on the touchlines, and the words we use, especially during and after the match, will remain embedded in our child’s mind forever. May those deeply impactful words be ones that we choose wisely, and not ones that we live to regret.